You Can’t Sit With Us

I don’t think I need I remind you about my awkward years (AKA Elementary School/Middle School). But I will anyways…I was nasty, gross, a tomboy, and didn’t really have many friends that were girls because I didn’t like or know how to braid hair or want to gossip. I did, however, have one fatal flaw. A ginormous crush on none other than Jesse McCartney. I kept it a secret from everybody except for my only two friends that were girls. Well that was a bad idea because I did mention earlier (Like 5 sentences ago) that I was not good with the gossiping and what not and didn’t really understand how it worked. They told everybody. And I do mean everybody in my grade (The whole 37 people). At this point we had a girl lunch table and a boy lunch table so I sat at the end of the girls table and got mocked by all of the girls for having a huge crush on Mr. McCartney. And who are we kidding here? All of those girls must have had a crush on him too. I mean who can resist Beautiful Soul or those puppy dog eyes and floppy blond hair? But I was relentlessly teased for it. This went on for a week or two. My favorite insult, “I don’t think Jesse would ever like a skinny toothpick convention (Their term of endearment towards me).” I was fed up with it. I took my frustrations out on a soccer ball during rousing games of World Cup while the girls resumed their braiding and house playing. I decided to go where no girl had gone before…the boys table. Yes, I broke the social quota. It was no longer all girls on one table and all boys on the other. It was all girls (minus one) and all the boys (plus one). I was a mini bad ass. I realized that I liked sitting with the guys much better than sitting with the girls and they were much more welcoming. I ended up making the move permanent and there was always a spot saved for me. The tormenting didn’t stop for a while but the girls eventually found better things to make fun of. They ended up using my close-knit friendships with the guys to their advantage so they could find out who had crushes on whom. I should have taken Hermione’s advice and told them that I wasn’t an Owl. Oh well. 

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